In dentistry we have this really great Latin phrase, "materia alba". I'm sure you've all heard of it, as it ranks right up there with "carpe diem" and "tempus fugit". No but really, we use it to describe things when we're not quite sure what they are. "Materia alba" literally translates to "white material". I'm sure your imagination is running wild. Anyway, Ester Wilkens (the goddess of dental hygiene) gives this as a definition... "white or cream-colored cheesy mass that can collect over bacterial plaque on unclean, neglected teeth; it is composed of food debris, mucin, bacteria". Cheesy is a good adjective, but I prefer to call it mashed potatoey. You know, the kind of stuff you could put into a bowl and serve with a brisket and a nice bottle of pinot noir.
I don't get grossed out relatively easily. I've taken grossology 101, 201, 301, and 401. I have the pictures and textbooks to prove it. I've examined, sliced and diced, ect, ect...you get the picture. What I don't understand is why people can't see this on their OWN teeth, when I can see it perfectly from across the room? I know, I know, I signed up for this gross job. Honestly though, you can't believe some of the things I have found in people's mouths. I've added a few of my own "materia" to the Latin phrase book. For example, "materia green bean", "materia oatmeal", "materia hair" (yes, hair, but that falls under grossology 201). And, these were all just added this morning. I've got a whole new Latin dictionary just waiting to be published.
People, have some respect for your dental professionals. Buy a toothbrush and USE it.
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